guilt

The single-most significant, rather the only reason for disturbance, guilt. Listening to a song, smoking, guilty about wasting the time that could’ve been spent on something else, for screwing my lungs, to my future, and her future, it sucks. After my break-up, emptiness, an excuse for every stupidity, groped around for sympathy, finally reached my hermitage, living alone, feeling that this was bliss, guiltlessness was bliss. Do anything I want to, now again, guilty about listening to music, watching a movie; do not relish reading anymore, always working out a plan. Sitting at a south Indian restaurant, for the whole day, just to live those moments, now even eating is a job, last few months there were pretty bad, agreed, there was always something to run towards, remember, I even felt guilty about not knowing the meaning of the word ‘perdition’ of not owning a car, a DVD player, I have no idea what this is

self-appointed authorities

To Raj Thackeray and his troop of monkeys (yes, I mean monkeys though the one Harbhajan used would be more appropriate for you all, in fact, it’s an insult to monkeys to equate you with them). Anyway, all you buffoons out there hell bent upon making peoples’ lives miserable, I challenge you, any one of those who are a part of this gang of scared kids, to a duel, hand to hand. I’m nearing 35, have a smoke infested, drug-abused, unshapely, body which is in such a pathetic state that I can’t climb three storeys without having to take breaks for rest at least twice. But I can take on the physically strongest among you, I’m sure, because you guys are such pathetic losers that even if you do subdue someone physically, you will be the one will who suffer and the next moment try to find someone else who is the bane of your existence. You’ll make up another gang of your deprived brethren and vent out your combined frustration at your impotency on some new unknowing target. You would never realize that no one else is a bane; it’s your existence which is a bane. Right now, you are fighting north Indians, later you’ll fight south Indians, still later you might fight someone else. What you don’t understand is that your being good-for-nothing has nothing to do with them. There have been many instances like these in the past; many mad caps like this inconsequential bug raj Thackeray in history, Hitler, amin, Mussolini, all of them attributed their troubles to an identifiable group which was easily targetable. All of them knew that the best way to gather disillusioned loafers was to make them believe that they are wronged, and point them towards it. But at least these Mussolini and Hitler’s have their moments of glory; at least they have power, money, what about you, you all couldn’t do that either, reviled, kicked around, hated by everyone, the likes of you are an object of ridicule, destroying MF Husain’s paintings, burning posters of taslima nasreen and harassing people on valentine’s day. It is laughable, at least the earlier villains of the piece had some ideals, some conviction on which they based their tyranny, their evil. You all, even you don’t know what the basis off your sporadic attempts at violence are. youre almost like the bunch of stray dogs who stay down when alone on the highway but start running after every car and bike if they are ion groups, without any tangible reason, just because they are more in numbers.